OK, so for lack of better understanding initially, I just realized that this blog name may very well attract the wrong people looking for something way different than what I’m discussing.   

That being said……I’m a super girly momma and am surrounded by boys.  To be fair, I’ve only got two lil guys and a husband….and I know that there are mommas deeper in the testosterone tank than I am.  One girlfriend of mine has been trying in vain for nearly half her married life to pop out a “not penis” model.  She has four boys already and I’m pretty certain she has given up on the idea of having a girl.   My SIL has three boys…..the only way she ended up with girls is when HER sons started having babies and gave her granddaughters and a reason to finally buy pink.    I had all nephews for nearly 11 years until my sister finally had a girl….and even then my one and only niece is such a tomboy because, well, she’s surrounded by BOYS.  

There are days when I’m quite literally choking on the testosterone.   The farting on one anothers limbs and the burping contests and the discussions of Transformers and the fact that every single toy and piece of clothing in my house is some horrendous shade of blue/black/grey/brown (you know, all the beautiful colors of a bruise) and….damn it…. what I wouldn’t give to have a little more pink shit in my life.

Honestly, when I was pregnant this last time (with the smallest of my penis people), I was so convinced that I was having a girl, I refused to even entertain the idea that there might just be another penis model growing in there.  I scoured the internet searching for all the wonderful and beautiful and fabulous things that I could possibly find….all in lovely shades of pink and lilac.  I chose girl names and said them aloud many, many times…..I was so infatuated with the idea that I would finally have a little girl.

My husband (J) and I took our oldest penis person (N) with us to the ultrasound.  J and N were just as equally sure we were having a boy as I was that we were going to have a girl……The ultrasound tech seemed completely unphased by our banter…..she’d likely heard this same scenario play out too many times to count…..Then, finally, the moment of truth…..

A PENIS!   Shit!…..J and N whooped and hollered as if they’d just won the lottery……..I lay motionless for a short while, a very fake smile plastered on my face in a vain attempt to fool this ultra sound woman into believing I was still very pleased with this whole situation……But I’ll be brutally honest here…..it took me a while to get to their level of happiness….And that’s ok.  I had to have a little time to mourn the fact that I was still going to be the only “girl” in our house.

As I mentally packed away all the pink things and girly names with MY middle name, I thought to myself  “you know, there are so many women who would just love the chance to be a mom, they coulg give a shit less about the sex”.  And so I told myself to stop whining and bitching and be grateful for the wonderful little miracles that I’ve been given.   My smallest penis person (J2) has been a wonderful little person to know.  He’s just passed his first birthday and tests my resolve every day (but in a good way, of course).  He’s currently sitting behind me while I’m in the dining room typing this…and is pinching my back between the bars on the chair…and LAUGHING about it each time he gets a reaction out of me.   And I know with complete certainty that I wouldn’t trade him for the world……or even for a little girl.