Many, many years ago……Jeff and I met, fell in love….and promptly stop being part of the world.  We were 15 and 16, respectively, when we began dating…if you could even call it that at that age.  Dating then meant that we could walk home together and spend time at one anothers’ homes.  There weren’t really any dates.  But regardless……we became wrapped up in one another and couldn’t fathom that there were other human beings in the world.  We were pretty exclusive…..NO ONE was allowed to join our little clique of two.   This went on for many, many more years.  We each had casual friends, groups of friends, couple friends……but at the end of the day, we clung to one another and proclaimed to be one anothers’ best bud.

Years later…..we got engaged.  The graveness of this situation only dawned on me when we were selecting the people to stand up in our wedding…..We’d actually become such a “super” couple that we literally had no close friends separate from one another.  Our wedding party was comprised of all family members (i.e. siblings and cousins).   I love each and every person that was in our wedding party…. but REALLY???  How did this happen???  And more importantly, what the hell could we, what could I, do about it???? 

And so I stopped being such a damn introvert.  I resisted the urge to go back to that comfortable place where only Jeff and I existed.  I stopped focusing every moment of time on Jeff and looking at the big picture.  I started to try to hang out with my sister Jen a little more and adopted many of her friends as my own.  Once I had children, I expanded my friendliness even further and scooped up mom friends like my life depended on it….because truly, it kind of did.  Once I got on facebook, I reconnected with a lot of people that I’d never bothered to get to know well before.  And then, I found the catalyst for the real me coming out of my shell….”Moms who drink and swear” (aka MWDAS).  These are the bitches that I vent to and who share the same passion for mommyhood as me.   I’ve talked with some of them until all hours of the night and met some of them in person (even some who live in different parts of the country). 

And now, many years later……I look back at the special group of woman life has blessed me with and I’m just grateful that I found (or in some cases, refound) them.   And sometimes, I wish I could tell the girls these days…..make sure you nurture your female friendships.  Don’t place a boy over your “girls”.  Friends should always take top billing over boyfriends.  And if a guy is encouraging you to drop your friends for him….maybe its time to drop his ass instead.  Because if you do it the way I did……you will wake up years and years later and realize……shit, I don’t really have any friends.

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