Ok, so first I must pay homage to the woman that I met yesterday in the restroom while grocery shopping……She kindly offered to watch my little munchkin Joshua so that a very weary mommy could piss without a infant-almost-toddler perched on her lap squirming around.     This lovely woman is the mother of seven penis people and grandmom to 10 penis people.  There is not a single va-jay-jay related to her by blood.  She said she has lots of loving daughter-in-laws that  help keep her sane in a her testosterone filled world.  I told her I call my guys penis people…..she calls her wiener waggers!  This woman was absolutely THE SHIT!   Loved her.

Ok, now that the love fest is over…..on to the more pressing penis issues.  Nicklas is just turned 6…..and is absolutely, positively, without a doubt OBSESSED with touching his penis.  And not in a “wow, this feels good” kinda way….more like “I have a penis, its mine and I’m touching it just for the hell of it” kind of way.    I have no idea when this started or, for that matter, WHY it started.  However, the more I look around, the more I notice…..men everywhere seem to have an essential necessity to fondle themselves incessantly.  I don’t know if its just that, in God’s own amusing way, he designed the hands to naturally fall to that general genital area, therefore men feel compelled to cop a feel.  I don’t know if its a “no one else is touching it at this particular second, so I might as well” issue.   Its as if every where I look, there’s Al Bundy.  I once worked with a man who, no matter who he was talking to, he would stand there and blatantly scratch hiself.  Its not like he was some homeless dude who’d not showered in a month…he was a professional businessman with an education and a military background.  But, he also appeared to have crabs, with all that scatching.    And I began to wonder, what kind of world would we live in, if woman just suddenly started massaging their boobs all the time.  Big ol’ giving yourself a breast exam kind of movements.  I’m pretty certain that there would be widespread pandemonuim.  And maybe a little jealousy….cause, let’s face it……boobs are lots nicer than penis!