As many of you know….I’m the lucky mom to a penis person who is quite amazing at only 6 years old.  He’s compassionate and caring and takes an amazing amount of shit off of people without ever snapping and beating the hell out of them.  In other words….I sometimes catch myself wondering how such a wonderful soul came from ME!  Me, who is short tempered and spiteful and mean and would rather be eaten alive by psychotic zombies than to forgive and forget.

Therefore, I think I’ve met my match….my tiny little equal, as it were…in the form of the little girl who lives down the street from us.  Last September, when Nicklas was a nervous little kindergartner waiting with mom at the busstop, this little she devil walked up and said hello and was friendly.   Her mom and I chatted while the kids played tag up and down the sidewalk.  In talking with her mom, I learned she was actaually a 2nd grader, but was tiny for her age and got picked on lots about it.  She has an older sister who is Autistic and Grandma lives with them to help out.  Dad works A LOT and isn’t home as often as they’d like.  I learned all of this information in the span of 10 minutes.  And then it was time to shove our little growing sperms on to the bus, wish them well and start our respective days.

For months after….she devil would come hang out at our house after school.  Her mom and I grew kind of friendly and her Grandma was grateful for the break (her words…not mine).  However, the more comfortable she devil became with us….the more her true evil bitchness started to show.  She started to tease Nicklas mercilously about how short HE was.  She told him to eat dog poo or she wouldn’t be his friend any longer.  On the bus, she began to ignore him and/or make fun of him when she was with her “other” bitchy friends, who happily encouraged her.  Then she started to kick and hit and punch him for no other reason than she just fucking felt like it.  She actually told me that when I busted her on it once….”I just felt like it”.   She used to tell her little bitchy friends on the bus “look, I can hit him and hit him and he doesn’t mind….you should try it too”.   She told people on the bus that he pees the bed and then they teased him (he doesn’t, by the way….she’s also a really convincing liar).

OK, so right about this time the mean, spiteful and short tempered momma bear was foaming at the mouth and ready to rip she devil limb to limb.  But, alas, I AM supposed to be a grown up and a mom with at least a minimal amount of self control.  And so I had a chat with Grandma about she devil.  Grandma confided in me that she devil is notorious for this type of behavior.  She is even this sadistic with her own Autistic sister.  Its as if she actually ENJOYS making others feel like shit (again…Grandma’s words, not mine).

And so began my crusade to try to instill in my loving little son with the soul of a angel that its not ok for people to treat him badly and that being a good friend to someone does NOT entail taking an substantial amount of shit off of them.  I instructed him to, of course, not START any fights with her……….however, if she wants to FIGHT like a boy (or with a boy–as it were), she better be prepared to BE HIT like a boy.  I know that this is totally NOT PC and whatnot…but what’s a boy to do??        And so….I will continue to fight for him and cuss her out and talk to her mom and Grandma and the school and anyone else who will listen.  But I’m just waiting for that day to come when  my loving little boy one day decides to beat the shit out of her.  And I’m not planning on feeling any sympathy for her nor will my son be disciplined or chastised.  She’ll totally have it coming to her.  And, if you look really closely on that day, you might just see this momma doing a quick little happy dance in celebration of her son finally not taking any more shit!