This is a poignant story about the smallest of my penis people.   I have no idea why I’m feeling so nostalgic today, but I am, so deal with it….

Less than 6 months after I quit the working world (or, more accurately, the working world quit ME), my hubby and I were FINALLY in a good place again….I’d said I’m sorry for the ugly things I’d done…he’s said that he knew I was sorry and would be happy to forgive me.  We’d had our knock down, drag out, ready to kill one another fights and had moved beyond that.  I was able to once again look at him and think to myself “not only do I think maybe I kinda LIKE him again…I think I’m in LOVE again”. 

It was during this little love fest, on a warm and balmey summer night while drinking heavily and enjoying a quiet moment in front of a bonfire that the head penis person looked at me, cute like only a sloppy drunk can be, and said “let’s try for another baby”.  Me, equally drunk and sloppy-feeling, did nothing more than burp and nod my head in agreement.  And so our decision was sealed!

Now, in our endeavor to get Nicklas to come true, we tried for nearly two years to conceive.  We’d been to fertility doctors, had a battery of tests run, and someone in our relationship (I won’t mention who) had done vile things to themself and then filled a cup with a sampling to be tested.  It was a long road filled with tears and apprehension and doubt.  And at the end of it all….we were given our wonderful little Nicklas, three weeks premature and weighing in at a mere 5 lbs 11oz.

So when Jeff mentioned trying for another…..I foolishly imagined that it would take a similar amount of trial and error.  And since I was not entirely on board, but not entirely OFF board, I figured ‘what the hell, its gonna take some time anyway’.  Much to my chagrin……in one months time…….that damn little test revealed that I’d either passed with flying colors or failed miserably, depending on how you want to look at it.

Upon my first appointment at my friendly neighborhood OB/GYN, he asked when my LMP was (if you’re not sure what THAT is…look it up…I’m not the health department, ok).  I told him that I was quite unsure when that might be, since I’d spent most of this summer in a drunken state.  He laughed and I laughed and we estimated as best we could. 

And so, on with the show…..baby Joshua turned out to be a boy, much to my dismay (ok, dismay THEN, NOT now).  He was a baby in a uterus filled with issues…..I’m a brittle diabetic, so I’m already high risk. But this pregnancy wreaked havoc on my insulin needs and blood sugar and my overall health….Where with Nicklas, I’d had not so much as an inkling of morning sickness, with this pregnancy, I was sick so often that 4 yr old Nicklas became very well versed in how to nurse mommy back to health (that included patting my back and bringing me sippy cups full of water)…..Joshua had something called single umbilical artery, which only occurs in about 1% of pregnancy though most offen in diabetics and effects the maturing of vital organs…….

And then…….the climatic moment!  God whispered to my little penis person Joshua in utero “listen, you know how your mommy and daddy HATE Valentines day and think its stupid and REFUSE to participate in anything valentines day related….well, you and I are totally gonna fuck with them and assure that they will be celebrating valentines day for the rest of your life”……And so, my little son was born 5 weeks early on February 14th weighing in even tinier than his big brother had, at a mere 5 lb 2 oz.   Baby Joshua spent nearly a week in the special care unit and I spent nearly a week in the hospital recovering from my 2nd emergency c section.  These little penis people are positively kicking my bodies ASS!

Since the moment Joshua came in to our lives, he’s been testing us daily.  He continues to battle Nicklas for being the most dramatic…..first, he appeared 5 weeks early to Nicklas’s 3.  He opted to weigh less than Nicklas had and spent longer in the hospital’s special care unit for sick babies.  He insured us a call to poison control 8 months sooner than Nicklas had (Joshua was 7 months old, Nicklas was closer to a year and a half old)…..and I just KNOW, as I sit here typing, that these crazy antics aren’t any where near being over.  And that’s ok…..because life with penis people is usually a whole shit load of fun!

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