Ok, I know that this blog, according to its fairly gender specific name, is supposed to be about penis people.  But, at least in MY world these days, the penis people are the least likely folks to literally  irritate my ass hole.  There is a saying and it goes a little something like THIS : “call a woman a bitch and 9 times outta 10 that’s what you get”.

Its seems that all the women I have surrounded myself with these days have all lost their God damned minds…..and in most cases, its the penis people in each individual situation trying to talk us out of our fucking crazy trees.

I’m sad to report, I’m still in the throes of verbal combat with my mom over the crack whore my brother (maybe) fathered a child with….We’ve been fighting (or more accurately, not speaking) for more than 5 months.  I called her today to try to see if “we” can be fixed and found that, instead, I got verbally sucker punched once again…..once FOR her and once BY her.  The last thing I said to my mom before she hung up on me for the 2nd time was to forget that me and my kids even exist and I will do the same for her and the rest of my family (except MY sister…she gets a pass here).  So now I’m a motherless child and am really wishing I could find a mom-type who would hold me and stroke my hair and let me cry on their boob until there is that big wet spot where my tears can lay quietly until they dry and they will tell me what a toxic bitch my mom is being to such a wonderful, loving, non-toxic daughter like me.  I will be taking new applications and holding auditions, date TBD.   And my heart is still aching and I’m still crying as I type that.

Over in my happy place, the MWDAS group, the old page was archived and a new page (and its new pain in the ass format) was required.  We WERE up to 140,000 members WORLD wide less than a month ago.  We were proud of the HBIC Nikki and her accomplishment.  She was happy to share the existance of that accomplishment with us collectively, as a group.  We were kinda smug in the fact that we fucking ruled!  Then, someone nameless and faceless in the facebook world whipped out their fake penis and smacked us in the cheek with it.  We had to start back at 1 and work our back way up.  We clawed and scratched and battled.  We are NOW up to almost 3,000 of the original 140,000 (I most suddenly just felt my head begin to ache at the mere mention of that).  Its really kinda sad that we still have SO far to go.

And in the midst of all that saddness is this…..the new group is full of new bitches (being around less than 6 months) who think their shit doesn’t smell foul and who spend hours on post after post trying to out-skank one another with crude comments, pornograpic images, photos of weed grow operations, racists remarks, etc.  When they’re not outskanking one another and just being plain dumb as shit…they are fighting with one another or inciting fights amongst others.  They are threatening one another with “I’ll kick someones ass” knowing that they live, literally, several states away from one another.  When it comes to pissing contests, the penis people ain’t got shit on these obnoxious wannabe badasses.

And speaking of penis people, they are also adding questionable (and that’s putting it NICELY) penis people to the mix.  The old group had maybe 1/2 a dozen penises, whom we trusted/liked/had passed all our tests.  The new group has skads and skads of them….and they spend THEIR days trolling for women like the new format is their own untapped version of e-fucking-harmony.com.  Its just creepy.  And when an admin throws one of those penis trolls out on their ass, the hags close ranks on us and defend the penis that was pseudo molesting them.  And so, adding THAT to the mix of already snarky and riled up bitches and every other post is more about one upping one another with their tales of freakish sexual behaviour and less about loving one another as moms all in the same shitty trenches.

And so, Admins are constantly having to babysit and referee and smack the hands of those who behave inappropriately.. We literally have taken to taking turns playing recess monitors on the new “playground”….and the thanks we get for THAT dubious honor is that these new whores have collectively started calling us out, saying we’re being mean and pretentious…..complaining about us on OTHER pages and calling us BITCHES (which is actually one of the nicer names we’re being referred to as).  And so, I ask you to refer to the first few lines of this blog……… And so even there…on a page so wonderfully started as Moms Who Drink And Swear…there are three or four (approved) penis people who are…GASP!….attempting to keep the peace in a sea of shark infested estrogen.  And, I’m wondering if, somewhere, they are meeting to discuss why all the bitches they know are going fucking nuts.

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