Because I’ve been ridiculously busy, I’ve been slightly neglectful of my blogging.  Thank  you from the bottom of my evil and cold-hearted self to the last three guest bloggers…because of them I’ve not felt entirely too guilty about it because I just knew your viewing entertainment was in good hands.

The penis people and I have been prepping for the battle royale of insanity that is their birthday party.  TWO  penis people (whose birthdays are only 8 days apart)…. ONE  party (don’t judge, I’m only certifiably crazy enough to do ONE  party instead of two)….. THIRTY KIDS  (ranging from toddler to pre-teen) expected to come…  MY HOUSE  (why, oh why didn’t I opt to hold this party at someplace  NOT  my house so that I could just leave the whole damn mess  THERE  and  go home )!  All this chaos is scheduled for  THIS SATURDAY !

With time ticking and in the midst of all this party prepping and house cleaning and supply shopping (three different trips to date and one more still required) and dinosaur poop making (yes, you  DID  read  THAT  correctly)…..I’ve found myself lulled in to a false sense of security that I can do this by listening to my go-to party rocking jams.  When I’m shaking my ass around the house, vacuum and swiffer mop in hand, to “Sexy And I Know It” I feel positively unstoppable.  At the very least, these tunes give me the energy to keep moving until I somehow pull it all together and get it done…..lest I collapse into the fetal position  accompanied by hysterical sobbing and thumb-sucking in the corner.

Both the Dick and I have such an eclectic taste in music that its only to be assumed that our young penis people will follow our lead……at least, that is my hope.  I’ve got everything from Andrea Bocceli and Il Volo (Italian music) to Usher and Lionel Ritchie (R&B) to Dixie Chicks (Country) and Drop Kick Murphys (Irish Punk Rock Music) on my phones music list.  Hubby’s is mostly Rock and Metal (I won’t even attempt to go into the details of the names of the bands)…but is scattered here and there with things like DOC and 2Pac (Rap).

We’ve been grooming the penis people from an early age to appreciate all types of music.  Nicklas is partial to Slipknot’s “Psycho Social” and “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly. Recently, I showed Nicklas a youtube video of some old school break-dancing, so now he’s hell-bent on mastering this art…….and Joshua is right there paying close attention and attempting it as well, as only a chunky legged 2-year-old can do.

Joshua is a little sillier in his music choices……his favorite song is “Juicy Gotcha Crazy” by Oaktown 3-5-7….because he likes that its gets momma’s booty shaking going strong and he holds on to my jeans pockets and gets bounced all over the place.   Any song that gets mommy channeling her inner stripper bitch and tickling him in the face with her hair is a winner in his book as well.  His attempts to pop-lock-and-drop it are the stuff my dreams are made of.

I’ve left it up to the Dick to teach the penis people how to cupid shuffle and electric slide and hustle.  While I’ve got a decent groove and some pretty stellar rhythm, I’m far too uncoordinated to master counting steps and listening to music and dancing all at once.  So, by default, that will fall to the Dick, who’s OCD allows him the benefit of picking up these particular dances pretty well.  Now, if someone would just teach the Dick to do the Dougie……so he can teach it to the penis people.

Most of our dinners are spent together at the table…….heads bobbing to whatever music happens to be on at the moment (and THIS  is greatly determined by  WHO’S  music is playing as well….mine or the Dick’s).  If you were a tiny little troll that lived under our dinner table, you would see feet tapping and legs shaking and asses chair dancing to the beat every damn night.   The only reason we aren’t actually  UP  and  DANCING  is it would be fairly hard to do while holding our plates in our hands.

The music goes on during dinner prep………with dancing around while holding hot pots and pans and knives (thankfully, we’ve never had any mishaps) is a fairly common practice in our house.  Luckily, everyone seems to remember to dance in their own “space” and we don’t generally collide with one another.  The music stays on until the dishwasher is safely (over) loaded and the kitchen is sparkling clean again.  This is my favorite ritual of the day………ear buds in…..dancing along with whatever tune has randomly been selected to blare me in to a cleaning oblivion.  Sometimes I even sing along….but mostly I just dance.  And my kitchen is magically transformed in to the dance clubs like I used to frequent……only there is zero cover charge (except sweet lil penis people hugs and smooches)……and far less alcohol.

I hope that my penis people continue to love many types of music and dancing around like demented little nut bags.  I hope that they never feel embarrassed to move their feet to the beat.  I hope they never lose the part of their soul that recognizes and enjoys a good tune.


I hope that the dancing continues until we all fall down…………