It has always been said that kids say THE damdest things.  And nothing could be more true……Except for the fact that kids will also DO the damdest things too.

I once read a funny quote on Facebook that said “Mom…watch this” is the child equivalent of the adult phrase “here…hold my beer”.  Both are generally followed by some completely assinine thing that will occur and leave you shaking your head, utterly astonished at the freakshow you are witnessing…while the person who has uttered said phrase will likely find themself injured.

In my penis person household, whenever the oldest says “Mom…watch this”, I generally find myself instead REALLY REALLY  NOT wanting to look….begging NOT to look.   I will either be entirely grossed the hell out or my heart will stop as I look on in horror while he attempts some stunt that will, possibly, require an emergency room visit.

Last night during our bedtime conversatio……oldest penis person tells me “Mom…watch this.  I can lick my own armpit”.  He then demonstrated this amazing talent for me (over and over and over…..obviously INCREDIBLY proud of himself).  I instantly stifled my desperate compulsion to just stop him and instead asked “WHY would you WANT to lick your own armpit?”  His response was both simple and extremely complex……”Because I CAN!”

(((Side note….anyone else noting a definitive pattern here……OH SO MANY of my blog posts derive exclusively from bedtime conversations with my wacky lil penis person)))

Do you remember being that young and that carefree that you did really silly shit simply because YOU COULD????  As a child, there was NOTHING you wouldn’t at least TRY…..and then try AGAIN just to see if you could do it even better.   And I began to wonder……when do we lose this innate ability to give not one shit about what others think of our antics.  At what stage in our lives do we concern ourselves more with the way the world views us and less about how we view ourselves?  I mean….unless your Snookie and you REALLY simply just don’t care if people think you’re a moron.  But the rest of us……we stumble our way through adulthood hoping like hell we don’t inadvertently make an ass of ourselves.

I often find myself positively envious of the fact that my wonderful lil penis people are always so busy amusing themselves with their own goofy behavior.  They fart out loud and claim it with pride!  They make up silly songs and sing them at the top of their lungs, not a care as to whom they might be annoying or if they even sound good.  They jump and run and they do cartwheels and if they fall down, they aren’t the least bit embarrassed.  They hop right back up and keep going.

I’ve learned a lot from those amazing lil penis people.  They have taught me that you can’t always be worried about what others think……and you should care even LESS about what other think you SHOULDN’T do.  Live life to the fullest….be silly when you need to be…..Be a little crazy……LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY!!!!!  Go ahead…..see if YOU can lick your own armpit!  I promise I won’t judge!