In case I have never mentioned this before..(yes, I’m sure I’ve mentioned it…it was a purely rhetorical question)… blogging and being a member of a kick ass group of mommas in the Moms Who Drink and Swear group, I’ve been lucky enough to have joined a community of amazing women that can call each other bitches and whores (said with nothing but love), play “I have never” (a drinking game) online with each other across the nation on a Saturday night, and can have an intelligent conversations about something as controversial as immunizations without threatening violence towards one another. In a world of opinionated, self involved assholes, who lurk behind a keyboard and sling hate without a second thought, I find this recent conversation I’ve experienced so refreshing and simply AWESOME!!!

To start, I saw a similar post earlier that day about vaccinations….one that quickly morphed into an incredibly hostile and ignorant verbal slasher-fest (please note….if you’re attempting to school someone on how incredibly SMART you are, can you please PLEASE do so without major grammatical errors…consider this my PSA for today) and made EVEN ME want to gouge my eyes out with a fork just for having witnessed the immense stupidity that was on display. My God, I felt really dumb after reading that particular post.

While I was completely irritated, it also got me thinking. Irritation usually DOES get me thinking (Its like being in the bathroom and pooping and a million brilliant things just pop magically into your head). So I posed the following questions on my own Facebook page……

“Ok….sorta a half shit starting question and sorta half really wanting to know……Why are people so concerned with whether or not a parent vaccinated their children…..If MY child is vaccinated and there IS an outbreak of polio or something equally evil….won’t the vaccinations my child received protect them???? So…..I support my friends who opt to not vaccinate their kids after making informed decisions and doing research….and worry not at all about the media hysteria that tells me that people who don’t vaccinate their kids are a danger to my vaccinated ones. You can’t have it both ways….you cannot tell me I should vaccinate my kids so they don’t get diseases…..and then tell me children not vaccinated could infect my kids. That just makes you sound like a moron.”

And then I sat back and diligently waited for the shit storm to start brewing. I was poised over my keyboard, methodically reading every response, ready to pounce on the first douche bag that didn’t play nice.

Now, I KNEW that there was a possibility that it was…sorta half a shit starting question. But I thought, well, maybe there are things I’m unaware of. Maybe while I’m sitting around watching SpongeBob on a continuous loop all day, losing vital brain cells by the second, there are important facts and information that I’m missing. And as I’ve mentioned, I know some amazingly smart women. I mostly knew (and hoped) it would go well.

After the first 92 comments, I was impressed. While there were (of course) varying opinions (as well as many opposing opinions), there was also honest, intelligent, and often very hilarious discussion whizzing around. Those whores (said with love and affection) were downright respectful of one anothers differing views. The conversation went a little something like THIS :

Kyle : Oh Danielle.

** See how Kyle tried to dissuade me from continuing the conversation…..see how I kept right on going **

Kyle : Your kids may not be in danger….just all of humanity.
Wendy : I chose to vaccinate my girls. period. ——->> oh look the draft is on. ** Way to deflect there Wendy….”A” for effort **
ME : I only ask that anyone that comments must be polite….be kind. …be respectful of choices people make.
Danielle S. : You are right! It’s an Oxymoron!
ME : Yeah…but if everyone has always been vaccinated (I’m assuming that the idea to choose not to vaccinate is a relatively new one) then wouldn’t only those who opt not to vaccinate be unsafe? ?
Megan M : This explained so much to me in real scientific no BS manner. Penn & Teller: Bullshit – Season 8 – Ep 89: Vaccinations

** Megan dropped an awesome Pen and Teller skit that had me cracking the fuck up. It also helped diffuse the situation (even though it really didn’t need any diffusing **

Kyle : You hear the term Gateway drug…..nonvaccination…..the gateway to everything that has been gone……coming back. whooping cough is back….Measles are back…mumps are back…..they were gone, none of our kids had them….I did……

ME : And…When I said it just makes people sound like a moron…..I was totally referring to the CDC and the government agencies that feed the mass hysteria. Not anyone here….because I love you all. ** I really did feel the need to clarify that point **

Sara R : It’s a little more complicated than that, has to do with herd immunity. And it increases the risk for babies too young to be vaccinated yet (pneumococcal is a nasty nasty thing) and kids who are immunosuppressed or otherwise unable to be vaccinated.

Carol : I vaccinated and I agree its a personal choice. The way I understand it, is that the argument goes like this,,, If only a percentage of the kids ARE vaxed, then the disease can spread and become stronger and stronger, rendering those vaccines powerless against the new, more powerful strains that spread amongst the unvaxed and weakens the vaccines given in the first place. Whether the argument is valid or not is up for debate, as well.

Sarah KG : I do not vaccinate. BUT I only advise people to do their own research. Just because it is good for some one else doesn’t mean it is good for me. Our bodies react differently. Not every one is allergic to penicillin.. but it will kill me. Same idea. St the end of the day, we can only do what we think is best for our kids.

Meghan A : Anyone who is not vaccinated is not only susceptible to communicable diseases, but they also have the ability to spread disease to other unvaccinated individuals. Some of those individuals could be infants not old enough to be vaccinated or the elderly who, for whatever health reasons, cannot be vaccinated.

Kim : I just read a big article about the hurd immunity and what advantages it provides. For me, better safe than sorry.

Hundreds of comments followed…..all were relatively similar to these. I did have one friend who posted a very simple, yet telling, statement.

Jennifer S : I’m not even going to touch on this subject….lol have fun with it though. See you tomorrow.

** Jennifer S is much like me in that she has clearly been a part of conversations that went sideways quick and the only way to escape them is generally to avoid them entirely **

I am SO proud of the moms I know. They participated actively and intelligently without pushing their owns views forcefully down one another’s throats. They made points that were thought provoking without provoking a fight. Afterwards, we moved on to additional meaningful topics such as circumcision, pro life/pro choice, and gay rights
** Not really, we just discussed the idea that we COULD discuss those topics and the environment would probably remain very chill – GO US! **

After tons of comments, the conversation DID go sideways….but it a totally fun and twisted kinda way. We moved on from the important stuff and started talking about the REALLY important stuff…..

ME : Lol…..Erin. like spankings. ….get over here. I also have a van with candy inside…..and I’m looking for my lost puppy.
ME : Ignore that bottle of chloroform sitting over there.
Erin S. : I LOVE candy and puppies! As long as the van has no windows. …we have to keep the puppy safe when we find it.
ME : And I have rope……just because.
Erin S. : Well we need a leash…duh.
Sara T. : I rely on psycho, that way nobody fucks with me.
ME : Now where did I park that damn unicorn???
Erin S. : I bought my phone for that setting….do you have the go ahead I dare you to Fuck with me package too?
Paula Q. : By my rainbow…..u need directions again?
ME : Uh….yes! Or no…..but probably yes. Let’s go with yes.
Erin S. : I don’t know. My unicorn is at the hornwash. My purple elephant said she’d pick up Miriam my unicorn after she’s done shitting out the mystery van. She’s pmsing…she prefers old 70 – 80s cartoon vehicles this time of the month. Silly ellie.
Sara T. : Shit…where are we going? I need directions, too.
ME : Follow the yellow brick road Sara…..
ME : Make a sharp left at the cowardly lion….not a soft left…..a soft left will take you the third realm of hell….Unless hell was maybe your ultimate destination.
Sara T. : Dorothy’s Yellow brick Road Or Elton John’s?
Erin S. : Aaaahhhh I so love you girls.
ME : Diana Ross’s
Erin S. : Shhhh not Eltons…don’t mention anything associated with ivory when ellie is PMSing. She’s very sensitive.
ME : Or was it Michael Jackson’s yellow brick road…..
Sara T. : OMG…now I’m in the Ghetto with Elvis Presley….Thanks a lot, Danielle, your directions SUCK!!!
Erin S. : Michaels…you have to ease on down that road
ME : Tell Elli to go suck a sticky bag of donkey dicks with her pms-ing self.
Erin S. : Throw a pb banana sammich and run….
ME : Oh no……Sara…I stuck some lojack on you……wait….I’ll turn you on.
Erin S. : How low is jack?
Sara T. : You all realize that CPS is on their way with SWAT to take our children away because NSA is monitoring all of this, right?!?!?!?!?
Erin S. : I could use a nap anyway.
ME : Ok…..make a left at crack head blvd…….step softly over the sleeping hookers at the corner…..hop on one foot and then twirl three times really fast. POOF!!! Sara…..You’re home! (((((hugs you and squishes your face in closer for a loving motorboat)
ME : Jack is so low that he’s pissing on people in China.
Erin S. : China gets all the good fertilization.
ME : YAY!!!! Vacation! I’ll bring the smores!

And that my friends is how you write a blog about a controversial subject without anyone trying to kill anyone…….